


Choose

by Black_Twilight_Phoenyx



Series: YouTuber Oneshots and Fanfics [2]
Category: SyndiSparklez - Fandom
Genre: Death, Love, M/M, Regret, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 09:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4055269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Twilight_Phoenyx/pseuds/Black_Twilight_Phoenyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Syndicate loves CaptainSparklez. But he's never worked up the nerve to tell him. And now Dianite wants a favor done by Syndicate...a deadly favor. And Syndicate is forced to choose.<br/>Possible love and his own death, or the death of someone close to him and inevitable power?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Meeting with Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Three songs go with this story -- Numb, Let Her Go, and What I've Done.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song: Numb by Linkin Park

“I know why you called me here.”  
The dark red glow of the Nether seemed to pulse ominously in the fortress. The lava trickling down the walls added its own golden light as it streamed down and disappeared into cracks in the fortress floor. Truthfully, the heat of the hellish dimension that seemed to only grow stronger in this fortress was unbearably hot, at least to its Overworld guest.  
“I know what you want from me.”  
The netherrack columns that glowed infinitely with fire blazed in a ring around the guest. He pulled anxiously at his long black sleeves, feeling sweat begin to run down his arms. But he pushed away his annoyance and concentrated on the fear and anger bubbling up in his heart. He knew why he was here. He knew what he had to do. He knew what the creature in front of him wanted.  
“I know of your grudge against his patron.”  
The heat began to grow stronger, as if his lord’s essence and growing suspicion was radiating in a huge amount and materializing into a felt force. He knew that he was taking a huge risk, and that he could quite possibly die today. But he didn’t care. The task that was about to be asked from him wasn’t something that he wished to do – not now, not ever. And yet…was it worth angering his lord and facing almost inevitable death for…for that man?  
“I know you want to smite them both down.”  
Sweat was drenching his back and his forehead. Was it coming from fear or the heat, though, he didn’t know. He raised his eyes from the floor and stared straight at the scarlet column of flame that hid his lord’s form from him. He narrowed his eyes and peered into the fire, beginning to see an outline form. His eyes widened slightly in nervousness, completely aware that his forestalling was beginning to frustrate his lord.  
“But let me tell you now, m’lord, before you bother with telling me to do it.”  
His heart was pounding so loudly that he was surprised it didn’t just burst out of his chest. He felt like he could collapse any moment. He took a breath, feeling it rattle into his chest and cause his heart to feel hollow. But he knew he had to say it. That was what he came here for. Mustering up all of his courage, he lifted his eyes up even more and glared at the place where he figured the creature in the fire’s eyes would be.  
“I will not do it.”  
He took a step back and braced himself in feeble submission, waiting for the roar of anger he expected to wash over him and for a metal blade to thrust into his heart, striking him down. But it did not come. Instead, a low, sinister chuckle echoed around the room. Eyes huge, the man stepped forward again and tightened his hands into fists, terrified.  
“Do you think you’re clever, boy, knowing what I want?” hissed the Nether lord. “Then again, if you weren’t, I wouldn’t have let you become one of my followers. But you’re weak. I expected a lot more from you, Syndicate.”  
Syndicate winced as his lord spoke, Dianite’s words piercing his heart like a knife. He protested, “My lord, please, you must understand –”  
“Must I?” bellowed Dianite, the fire engulfing his form blazing. “You do not tell me what to do. You’ve failed me multiple times, Syndicate. And now you dare to defy my orders?”  
Syndicate stammered, “I-I just – please, lord…I –”  
“I am quite aware of your feelings for him,” interrupted Dianite, his voice cracking with authority and power. “That is another way you have failed me. Really, Syndicate? Falling for an Ianitee? How low can you possibly stoop? It’s bad enough that he’s a man. But you go and dump salt in the wound by making sure he was Ianite’s champion.” Dianite’s voice was ringing with unhidden fury.  
Syndicate bowed his head, ashamed. “I’m sorry, my lord…I really am…but please, I-I can’t do it…”  
With a shout, the flames roared and then evaporated, leaving Dianite standing in front of Syndicate, completely visible. His blood red eyes smoldered with rage, and his hands were clenched in fists. His huge dark gray horns glinted above his head, looking sharp enough to skewer someone at will. His ripped raven-black sleeveless tunic that displayed his muscular, gold-adorned biceps fell around his knees. He tossed his head back, his long black hair whipping to the side. “You’re lucky I haven’t killed you yet,” Dianite spat, slowly walking forward. Syndicate stood there, stiff, as his god neared him. A dark red and gray broadsword appeared in Dianite’s hand, and in the light of the Nether, it looked like it was made of blood.  
“P-please don’t,” whispered Syndicate, eyeing the sword.  
Dianite gave a dry laugh. “No…I won’t – not yet. Syndicate, I am giving you this last chance to prove yourself to me. Prove that you aren’t another stupid mortal looking for a purpose in life.” Suddenly Dianite lunged forward with his hand outstretched, and suddenly Syndicate found himself raised in the air, choking with Dianite’s firm hand holding him up by squeezing his neck. Syndicate clawed at Dianite’s hand, gasping, his legs flailing. “But if you fail me, Syndicate,” Dianite threatened, his hand getting slightly tighter, “your punishment will be worth than death. Impress me by doing your job well, I will give you all the power and wealth I promised to you when you first pledged your blood to me.”  
With that, Dianite dropped Syndicate. The green-skinned man curled up on the hard nether brick floor, gasping for breath and rubbing his chafed neck. Wincing, Syndicate stood up and whimpered, “But why…why does it have to be me? Why can’t you get –”  
Dianite snapped, “Because I’ve seen how much ambition you have, Syndicate. I know that if you got your head out of those stupid clouds of the friendship you think you have with Jeriicho and FireFoxx and CaptainSparklez, you could make me proud. You could make an amazing follower. But you need to quit being so soft and become the assassin I know you could be.”  
Syndicate was taken aback by his god’s words. He felt almost complimented…except for the comment Dianite had made about his friendships. “What…what are you trying to say?” murmured Syndicate. “I-I am friends with them…”  
“No, you’re not,” snarled Dianite. “I’m trying to help you, Syndicate. Listen to me. They’ll never accept you completely for who you are. For being my follower. They’re trying to break you down, Syndicate, trying to make you regret becoming a follower of the lord of evil. Jeriicho is always suspicious of you and the deeds you may perform. FireFoxx is constantly looking over her shoulder, expecting you to be there, wielding a sword to try and kill her. And as for CaptainSparklez…he has no idea who you truly are. Whether you’re a friend or foe .He feels that he should be responsible for who you are, being the pawn of the balance goddess. He can’t trust you. He doesn’t know if you’d be the one protecting him from his killer…” Dianite leaned forward and whispered in Syndicate’s ear as he finished his statement. “…or if you’d be the one killing him.” Dianite leaned back, his eyes gleaming wickedly.  
Syndicate’s breath leapt into his throat. “That can’t be true…even if he doesn’t love me like I love him, Sparklez…he trusts me…he has to…” he breathed.  
Dianite narrowed his eyes. “Fine, then. Don’t believe me. It’s your choice. But by the end of the day, Syndicate, it shouldn’t matter. If you do your job, Mr. Sparkly Bum will be dead.”  
His emotions flooded over. Syndicate let out a low moan and fell to his knees, tears pouring out of his eyes. “I-I don’t want to do this…I can’t do this…”  
Rough fingers grasped his chin and brusquely lifted his head, so that Syndicate had to crane his neck back, his face an inch from Dianite’s. Terrified, Syndicate stared into Dianite’s glittering crimson eyes as the god growled, “I don’t believe I’m saying this, Syndicate, but I believe you can. You just need to focus on where your loyalties are. Who do you choose, Syndicate? Do you choose your hopeless crush, or the immortal who can give you everything you want if you just do what you’re told?”  
Dianite let go of Syndicate’s chin, letting him fall limply back onto the floor. He stepped back as Syndicate shakily stood up and exhaled. “I…” Syndicate’s voice came out hoarse and weak, echoing with regret. But it became clear as Syndicate responded, “I choose you, my lord.”  
Dianite nodded and tossed Syndicate the broadsword he was carrying. Syndicate gasped and caught it as Dianite announced, “It’s called ‘Imbalanced Revenge’. Fitting for the murder of the Justice Boy, don’t you agree?”  
Syndicate handled Imbalanced Revenge with trembling hands. “Wha-what’s it made of?” Syndicate asked dumbly.  
“Blood obsidian. Found in the deepest parts of the Nether. When you kill CaptainSparklez with this, he’s not coming back. It’ll be one less follower for Ianite. Say your farewell to your crush, Syndicate, because it’ll be the last thing you ever say to him.” Dianite’s mouth turned upwards in a little smile. “If I were you, I’d make a move before the kill. Maybe it’ll make it more pleasant for him. What’s that everyone says? That they’d rather die in their lover’s arms rather than anywhere else?”  
Syndicate felt sick. His stomach heaved as he put his new sword into the empty sheath hanging from his hip. I’ve just sealed Sparklez’s fate, he thought hazily. What am I doing? “I…I…what am I supposed to do?” Syndicate moaned. “Kiss him and say that I’m sorry?”  
Dianite turned away, indicating that he was dismissing Syndicate. Over his shoulder, he called, “If that’s what you want. As long as he ends up on the ground, lifeless with his life draining into the dirt. Give Ianite something to cry over. Break her will. Do whatever you need to…just get the job done.” With that, Dianite waved his hand, and the Nether melted away with Syndicate.


	2. Imbalanced Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song: Let Her Go by Passenger  
> *Major Character Death*

The sky was cloudy and gray as Syndicate walked outside, shrouded in a black cloak with the hood over his head, concealing the lethal weapon he was carrying at his side. His dark brown hazel eyes shone in the gray sunlight. He kept his head down as he walked slowly to Sparklez’s house, high up on the hill. Dianite’s words rang in his ears like a cursed omen. No idea who you are…friend or foe…can’t trust you…protect from his killer or is the killer… Syndicate’s head snapped up as his thoughts rested on one of his own: He doesn’t love me back. And he never will…he’ll never have the chance.  
The lump in his throat was burning. So were his eyes. But he fought back his tears as he walked over to Sparklez’s porch and knocked on the door shakily. “S-Sparklez?” Syndicate called, his voice weak. “Are you in there?”  
“Just a sec!” CaptainSparklez’s voice rang out from the interior of the wooden house. “I’ll be right out!”  
“Okay!” Syndicate forced his normal energy into his voice. “Take your time,” he added in a much quieter whisper. He planned on telling Sparklez exactly how he felt before he killed him…exactly how much he loved Sparklez, how many times he wished he had told Sparklez before this day. Maybe that won’t make it as bad. No, who am I kidding? This will make it worse…with the knowledge that I finally told Sparklez and now I’ll never know what could have happened with the both of us, Syndicate thought in a tortured mind. I’ll never forgive myself…or Dianite. I’ll become a rogue…run away from all I’ve done…all that I’ll ever do…  
His thoughts were broken as someone flung open the door and blinded Syndicate with a white smile. “Yeah?” asked CaptainSparklez, a smile on his face.  
Immediately Syndicate was captured in Sparklez’s vibrant sky-blue eyes, and he began to wish he had never come. “L-look, Sparklez, I need to tell you something –”  
“Hold up,” interrupted Sparklez. “Why are you wearing a black cloak? Have you gone goth, or something?”  
“Something like that,” admitted Syndicate. His heart felt heavy, like it was being pulled down by a thousand tons. He wished that he could just die right now. He had a sudden urge to stab himself right then and now, but somehow he thought that it wouldn’t be very respectful to Sparklez. “Can we go over near the sea for this?”  
Sparklez looked a bit confused, but he nodded, “Uh…yeah, sure. I’m not doing anything, anyway.”  
Syndicate dipped his head and walked back down the hill. His legs felt like lead. Syndicate’s mind was spinning, and he was starting to really hate Dianite. But he knew that if he didn’t do this, Dianite would strike him down right here. But maybe it’s worth Sparklez’s life…I don’t…I just…  
That was when Syndicate realized that no matter how hard he tried to change his mind, he was going to eventually do it. That was the bad side of him fighting his more reasonable side. The power-hungry, blood-thirsty psycho side of him. The side that everyone always seemed to see. But Sparklez saw through it, Syndicate realized. Dianite was wrong…maybe Sparklez does love me…  
They reached the sand on the far side of the hill. The waves lapped at their feet, and Syndicate turned to face Sparklez. His cloak billowed around his feet as he stepped closer to Sparklez. Closer…and closer. Sparklez stood there, frozen, as Syndicate took off his hood and gazed into Sparklez’s eyes seriously. “CaptainSparklez,” Syndicate murmured, “there’s something important I have to tell you. I don’t know if you’ve guessed this already, or suspected it. But…Sparklez…look, I love you.”  
Sparklez furrowed his brow. “I…I love you too, Syndicate.” He sounded a bit puzzled  
Syndicate’s heart skipped, but he knew that Sparklez didn’t mean it in the way that he did. He meant it in a brotherly way – the way that Sparklez showed love to everyone else. “No, Sparklez,” Syndicate said, his voice shaking. “Not in that brotherly way. I mean it as in I actually love you – that I can’t manage to see you sad, that I always need you, that I wish sometimes I could just lay down beside you…that I can’t live without you.” As Syndicate stumbled over the last words, he realized just how true it was. Here he was, about to plunge Dianite’s sword into the heart of CaptainSparklez, the one person who managed to steal his heart. And he knew that it was too late to turn back.  
Tears began to gush out of Syndicate’s eyes like a waterfall as Sparklez’s eyes widened and he stammered, “I-I wish you t-told me b-before because I-I –”  
Syndicate didn’t let Sparklez finish. He lunged forward, grabbed Sparklez’s shirt and pulled him in. Before Syndicate knew what he was doing, his lips were on Sparklez’s, his arms were wrapped around his neck, and his eyes were closed. His cheeks were wet with his flowing tears. Hands crept up his torso and wrapped around his back as Sparklez kissed him back. And in that moment, Syndicate thought in the most confident second of his life, Sparklez does love me.  
Syndicate leaned back, suddenly incredibly guilty for what he was about to do. Sparklez pulled back too, looking a bit sad. “I…I love you too, Syndicate,” he confessed. “What…what does this mean now?”  
“It means,” Syndicate whispered, “that I hope that you can one day forgive me.”  
“What does that –”  
Crying freely now, Syndicate moved his hands from the back of Sparklez’s neck and put one down on the hilt of Imbalanced Revenge. With the other, he gripped Sparklez’ throat tightly and let his fingers wrap firmly around the back. Sparklez cried out in shock as Syndicate flung his cloak off and slammed Sparklez against the side of the hill.  
Tears began to leak out of Sparklez’s eyes – tears of surprise, incredible sadness, and betrayal. “You said –” Sparklez gasped for breath and choked, “— you said that you – that you l-loved me –” Sparklez pulled at Syndicate’s hand, begging for breath.  
Syndicate sobbed, “I do love you, Sparklez, more than anyone else in the world…”  
“Then – then why –”  
Syndicate drew his sword and pleaded, “Forgive me, Sparklez…I love you.” With that, Syndicate let out a long, remorseful shout and thrust his sword into Sparklez’s heart. Sparklez’s eyes flew open as his breath escaped his lungs in a scream. Syndicate let go of Sparklez’s neck and dove forward as Sparklez collapsed into Syndicate’s arms. Syndicate cried, his tears spilling down onto the sand. Sparklez stared up at Syndicate, and Syndicate stared down back at him, feeling nothing but guilt and intense regret. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.  
Sparklez gazed back, his brilliant blue eyes still bright and full of love – the last thing Syndicate expected to see. With his last breath, CaptainSparklez gasped, “I…forgive you…” before he reached up and brought Syndicate down in one last kiss. Syndicate leaned down into the kiss and tried to stop crying as he knelt down onto the sand. He felt Sparklez’s chest lift one last time and then fall back down. It never rose back up again.  
Sparklez’s head fell from Syndicate’s lips, and he fell out of Syndicate’s hands and sprawled onto the sand. Syndicate moaned as the waves reached out for Sparklez, the blood gushing from Sparklez’s chest flowing into the water and dissolving. Syndicate straightened up, his eyes still shimmering with tears. He wiped his hand on his shirt, flinching as it came back up covered in blood…Sparklez’s blood. Syndicate’s eyes widened, and he quickly threw his shirt off and tossed it into the ocean, not wanting any evidence of his deed. Swiftly reaching for his untainted cloak and clipping it back on, Syndicate then picked up Imbalanced Revenge and looked at it with disgust. “I hope you’re happy, Dianite,” Syndicate spat. “I’m never going to look at this sword again.”  
Syndicate threw the sword as far as he could into the sea. He hated Dianite. He hated that sword. He hated himself. What have I done? he thought as he stared at Sparklez’s lifeless body. I killed Ianite’s one follower…I can never forgive myself. I never want to see Dianite again. Syndicate knelt back down again and carefully rolled Sparklez’s body over, so that he was face-up on his back. Syndicate rested one last kiss on Sparklez’s forehead before standing up and walking away, heading back to his home.


	3. What I've Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song: What I've Done by Linkin Park

Three days passed. Syndicate stayed locked in his house, unwilling to leave. He couldn’t face Jeriicho and FireFoxx. Even though he knew that they couldn’t have possibly seen him kill Sparklez, he was afraid that somehow they’d find out. They’d run him out. They’d try to kill him. They’d always preferred Sparklez over him…and now that the blue-eyed man was gone because of Syndicate, Jeriicho and FireFoxx would stop at nothing to avenge Sparklez’s death. Syndicate slept through most of the three days, his dreams haunted by Sparklez’s scream and those blue eyes. He always heard Dianite’s evil laugh, and he would always wake up in a cold sweat, petrified.  
On the afternoon of the third day, someone knocked on Syndicate’s door. Syndicate sat up on his bed, his heart pounding. “Yeah?” he shouted.  
“It’s Jeriicho!” came the muffled reply. “Can you please come out? We have something to tell you.”  
Syndicate gritted his teeth. They found his body. “Oh? What is it?” he yelled back. He tried to sound as casual as possible, as if he had no idea what Jeriicho was talking about.  
A long sigh met his ears before Jeriicho said in an irritated voice, “Just get out here. You’ve been in there forever.”  
Syndicate groaned and walked to the door. He opened it and found Jeriicho and FireFoxx waiting for him, their eyes bloodshot and their faces tearstained. Syndicate blinked and desperately racked his brain for something to say. “Have you been crying?” he said finally. “What’s going on?”  
FireFoxx blurted out in a mournful voice, “Sparklez is dead…we found his body on the beach by his house this morning…oh, Syndicate, we don’t know what to do…”  
Jeriicho was a little less obvious with his sadness. “He looked like he had been dead for a day or two,” he murmured. “Have you seen him yet?”  
Syndicate cleared his throat and shook his head. “N-no…when did this happen?”  
Jeriicho narrowed his eyes, as if he was beginning to suspect Sparklez’s murderer. “We don’t know. Follow us. We’ll show you.” Jeriicho turned away stiffly and began to walk towards the direction of Sparklez’s house, with FireFoxx crying beside him.  
“Oh, no,” Syndicate groaned. He’d rather not see this again – he was scared that he might end up showing familiarity with the scene. But he took a breath and followed them.  
A few minutes later, they arrived at the small shore. Sparklez was still laying there, his hair damp. His skin looked pale, and the sword wound in his chest red around the edges. His white shirt was a rusted red-brown color around the area. Syndicate fought back a sob as he stared at the figure of his former lover and crush. This is all my fault.  
Jeriicho looked on with soberness. He said, “It was a clean kill. Quick and hopefully not very painful. I don’t know who would do this. Dianite wouldn’t come out and do it. Champwan and the priest probably wouldn’t, but there’s a possibility. FireFoxx and I definitely didn’t do it.” Jeriicho then looked at Syndicate with searching eyes, a hint of accusation in them. “What about you, Syndicate?” he asked in an emotionless voice. “Who do you think did this?”  
Syndicate didn’t answer immediately. He didn’t want to lie completely, but he definitely didn’t want to tell the truth. So he gave an answer that was somewhere in the middle. “Someone who didn’t want to deal with something they created with Sparklez,” he replied in a calm voice. “Someone who regrets something he or she did to him in the past. Someone who was looking for something else in him and wasn’t sure if they’d find it. Someone…someone who was just looking for acceptance.” Syndicate’s voice caught, and quickly added, “That’s – that’s what I think, anyways.”  
Jeriicho didn’t take his gaze off of Syndicate. Syndicate stared back at Jeriicho, trying to keep all emotion out of his eyes. It was clear that Jeriicho knew that Syndicate was the one who killed Sparklez. But at the moment, Jeriicho didn’t mention it. He simply nodded and fumbled with something in his pocket. “There was something in Sparklez’s hand when we found him,” he told Syndicate as he pulled out a piece of paper. “A note. I think you should read it.” Jeriicho gave the wrinkled paper to Syndicate and then turned to FireFoxx, giving her a knowing look. FireFoxx nodded, and together the couple walked up the hill and disappeared, leaving Syndicate alone.  
Baffled, Syndicate sat down in the sand and unfolded the paper. His breath caught. The note began with: Dear Syndicate…  
It’s a note for me, Syndicate thought, beginning to feel dizzy. With a new interest, he slowly read the rest of the note:  
Dear Syndicate, if you’re reading this, then it means that somehow I’ve died. This place is a harsh place to live, first of all, with death around every corner. I’m glad that this note was able to reach you. I wrote this hopefully a long time before I died – the day that I realized I had feelings for you. It was sometime after the Purge that you and I teamed up for. I remember that you saved my life from Champwan that night. I had watched you stand in front of me and knock Champwan’s blade away from my neck. I watch you kill him for me. And I know that death here isn’t permanent – well, then again, the death that I died recently, the death that this note is for, is permanent. And I’m not coming back. I’m not sure who killed me or how I died for this death, but you’ll probably try to avenge me, won’t you? Heh. I’m glad I got to know you, Syndicate. I just kind of wish I had said something before I died – well, maybe I have; I really don’t know right now. But my point is, if I haven’t, then know now that I love you. In the way that Jeriicho and FireFoxx love each other. I know it’s wrong. But I love you a lot, Syndicate. I’d die for you, over and over again if I had to. Thanks for being there. I hope that one day you’ll find love for yourself…I’m just sorry that it wasn’t me. I love you.  
-Love, CaptainSparklez <3

 

As Syndicate finished the note, he realized that he was crying harder than he ever had. Even more than he had as he killed Sparklez. I shouldn’t have done it, Syndicate thought, pained. He loved me…I never knew…if I had… Syndicate didn’t even bother finishing the thought. He folded the paper, put it into his pocket, and then brought his knees up to his chest and sobbed into his hands. His shoulders shook as he peered through his fingers and glanced at Sparklez’s body for a second and then closed his eyes again. Someone put their hand on his shoulder and whispered, “Syndicate.”  
Syndicate lifted his head out of his hands and looked at Jeriicho, who was sitting beside him. His brown eyes glimmered with sympathy and knowledge of what Syndicate had done. FireFoxx was nowhere to be found – Jeriicho had probably sent her to grieve at her house. “I know that you killed him,” Jeriicho whispered. “FireFoxx knows, too. But we also know that you did it for Dianite. We know that you loved him and that you didn’t do it because of your own will. It’s okay, Syndicate…but…I wish you hadn’t.”  
A fresh wave of tears crashed down on him. Syndicate wailed, “I’m sorry, Jeriicho! I’m so, so, so sorry…I shouldn’t have…I regret everything…I miss him so much…Jeriicho, please forgive me….”  
Syndicate couldn’t manage to speak anymore. He just closed his eyes and cried. He leaned into Jeriicho as Jeriicho put his arm around Syndicate and pulled him closer. “I have,” Jeriicho murmured in Syndicate’s ear. “FireFoxx, too. Don’t worry. Things may never be the same…but we’ll find a way to avenge Sparklez’s death. Without killing you. I promise you that. It’s okay. Things will be okay.”  
Syndicate just shook his head and listened to the waves crashing onto the sand. I’m sorry, Sparklez, he thought as he began to fade into unconsciousness. I’m so sorry.


End file.
